JCP FEATURES: SWATCHES

“ The beauty of this world is placed in the vivid yet complex colors of nature ”

This September, I got the chance to learn something new. As some of you might know, I worked for a shoe company since July and it produces shoes for a certain brand, which I have to deal with the brand’s standard colors. There is a specific job description for this job and we call it FMCA (Footwear Material Color Approval). The main job is to check the material color against the standard. Sounds simple but, it wasn’t. Everyone has a different ability to see color and color can look different in different lightings.

According to Merriam-Webster, color is “a phenomenon of light (such as red, brown, pink, or gray) or visual perception that enables one to differentiate otherwise identical objects”. I recall my physics class where we are talking about how colors formed. Not a good student of physics, but this topic is the most memorable one. I remembered that I had an experiment using a flashlight and mirror, there we can see a rainbow. You know the colors in a rainbow, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet are the basic colors. From those colors, we could have a thousand possibilities of other colors, like pastel tone, earth-tone color, etc. Since I was a kid, I always like seeing Pantone swatches for wall paintings or swatches of nail polish in the salon. This time, I got to have an access to textiles swatches, we called it scotdic. Finally, I found something I like about my job (but it's also quite annoying).

Ever heard about RGB or CYMK? Primary color and secondary color? RGB is the most basic color usually used widely in the design world, which is Red, Green, and Blue (if you watched ‘Start Up’, you probably know about it since Nam Dosan is obsessed with RGB colors). CYMK is the colors you can see in your printer inks, such as Cyan, Yellow, Magenta, and Black. Primary colors are red, yellow, and blue. The secondary color is orange, green, and purple. After the secondary color, you will have a tertiary color. All of these colors can be seen in the color wheels. I believe you have seen a color wheel before, right? Yeah, the one you can find in photo editing applications. Many are quite familiar with color wheels nowadays and it is very interesting to play with the colors.

RGB (taken from drama "Start-Up"
Credits: Google Images

Actually, color creation is a very interesting topic. Color creation means mixing the basic colors into secondary colors or other colors. For example, if you mix red, yellow, blue, and green with the correct ratio, you will get a violet color. Even to get a black color, you have to mix the right amount of color to have a pure black color. Now, if you look around your closet, you might find your black clothes might have some different hues. Some of them might be a greenish-black, or reddish black, or bluish-black. A greenish-black means the ratio of green color is more than the rest of the color. It’s hard to notice it, but it’s fun.

Speaking of colors, I’m always amazed by how people create names for every color such as the green army, cream, khaki, olive, coral, pink, etc. My favorite color is a baby pink. How about you? But lately, I started to favor dark olive, army green kind of palette. Especially for clothes, I think I have like 5 clothes in those colors in my closet. I think I look good in that tone. I think last year taking a personal color test was quite trending. Every person has a different color tone and you can find out yours by taking a test. There are some websites that provide free tests. I took one from here. I got a deep winter – autumn color palette. For more info about it, you can read it here. You can check out yours and share it with me. I really wanted to try out the test from a professional personal color advisor like Lee Hyeri (Girl’s Day member/Korean actress) ever done before. You can check out her experience here.

Me dressing in shades of dark olives.

Colors are important and beautiful. But, lately, we hear a lot about skin color discrimination. I don’t know why people make a big deal about color difference. We are special in our own way, including what skin color we have. I’m really sad about the fact that people are discriminating against others because their skin color is different from theirs. The skin color discrimination issue has raised since a century ago and it’s getting worse. I mean, come on, we are more civilized and educated. By this time, we should clearly learn and understood that everyone is the same despite their skin color, race, and gender. On my Twitter timeline, there are lots of tweets about this particle issue in the USA. Remember when the #BLACKLIVESMATTERS hashtag was trending all over the media last year? I think it's time to speak out our voices about this issue. No more tolerating discrimination, especially when it comes to taking someone's life. Varieties of skin color make the world more beautiful. Look at the Disney princesses. Disney creates princesses from all kind of culture with different skin tones. Imagine if there is no color to our skin? All of us might look terrible and scary. This kind of issue should have been resolved. I really wish everyone know that skin tone is not defining who you are, your character and attitude do.

Disney Princess from different cultures and skin color, but still beautiful.
Credit: Google Images

Talking about it, the movie ‘Pocahontas’ and its’ theme song, ‘Colors of the Wind’ came across to my mind. ‘Pocahontas’ movie was released in 1995, which is 26 years ago. Even though two decades have passed by, the old same issue is still hanging around in our lives. Despite the underlying storyline about the tribe versus the settlers, this movie delivers an important message. We tend to forget that God gave us beautiful earth so we can live comfortably. We tend to take things for granted. Burning down the forest to get more land to expand, dumping the waste not to the proper place, wasting energy and water, and many more things that resulted in destroying the beautiful mother earth. There is a reason why God provides us the place to stay first before He creates humans. But this sinful human being is not being grateful and like to exploit things. They often forget and overlook their surroundings.

Scene from 'Pocahontas', Disney (1995)
Credit: Google Images

I looked up the lyrics of ‘Colors of the Wind’ after hearing the song few days ago. While looking at the lyrics, I also searched for the messages behind the song and came across this post. As I get older, I tend to focus on the lyrics of the song I listened to.

“For whether we are white or copper skinned

We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains 

We need to paint with all the colors of the wind ”

The song clearly and brutally honest about the color differences. No matter what skin color we have, we are the same and no human power can overcome the power of mother nature. So why bother to fight it, while all you need to do is enjoy the beauty of it. The wind is invisible, but clearly, without the wind, there would be no color in our life. But no matter how smart and powerful humans can be, we surely cannot paint with the wind. It is beyond of our ability. Only God can because He is the Creator. (Well, actually I haven’t really watched ‘Pocahontas’ (poor me, I know), but I really enjoyed the soundtrack, which made me want to watch the full movie again.)

Credit: as tagged (via Google Images)

After months of playing with color, I came to think what if there are no colors in this world? I couldn’t imagine if I’m a color blind too. It’s so good and fun to play with colors and couldn’t see it or differentiate it would be terribly sad. Can you imagine, what if God didn't create color for this world? For me, the beauty of this world is placed in the vivid yet complex colors of the nature. I like the orange, yellow, and green leaves when it’s autumn. Also, how calming it is to shades of blue sea when you need to clear your mind. Imagine if those natures don’t have any colors to it. It would be a suck life, I guess.

As the pandemic got worsen every day, I became to appreciate every photo in my phone gallery for the memories captured. The time I got to see the beach, waterfalls, skyscrapers, and even I’m grateful for the blue sky or pretty cotton candy evening sky around the neighborhood. Not to forget the delicious food we eat every day is way much more delicious when it has pretty colors. Couldn’t get enough chance to travel this year and experiences to be in nature, but still appreciate every little thing in this world. Sharing some of my archives that has pretty colors #nofilterneeded

Somewhere in Bali, 2019

Colors = Baloons

Natural Shades of a Mountain
Mt. Gede, 2018

The Best Point of Seoul

Merry Go Round Lights

At the most colorful place on earth, Universal Studios Japan

Thank you, God, for creating colors and I’m grateful that my eyes are totally good for capturing the beauty of colors.

Actually, I was quite hesitant to write about this topic but turns out it was pretty okay. I got to learn much more stuff rather than the things I learn from work. I know it’s been all over the place and I missed my timeline again, but I tried my best and will keep on posting the rest of the JCP Features ASAP. Have a colorful day and stay safe everyone!

xoxo,

Jennifer

Further Readings:

https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/biggest-color-trends-2021-48109389

JCP FEATURES: ROAD TO VICTORY

“Everything seems to be its’ place, while it isn’t”

August is the month of celebration for some countries. According to the list on Wikipedia, there are around 20 countries that celebrate Independence Day in August, such as South Korea, Singapore, India, and Indonesia. I celebrate my birthday this month and I truly agree that August is the month of celebration (P.S: I share my birthday with Singapore National Day lol).

Just like any other holidays in 2020, because of the pandemic this year Independence Day is not as vibrant, exciting as before. In Indonesia, we usually held a competition event as a celebration of Independence Day. Obviously, it did not happen. I couldn't remember what I did on that day since it wasn't significant enough. When I was in school, I really look forward to watching the competitions held. It’s because no classes that day and you can wear other clothes other than the uniform. My favorite competition is “Tug of War”. I don’t know why, but it’s just fun to have your whole classmates joining the game (see, it’s one of the good things going to offline school. Refer to my previous post to know why, here). It's been a long time since I ever participated in those kinds of competitions. Since I entered university, I didn't get any chance to join. Thinking back, it was such a good old day. 

As I grew up, I started to learn the essentials of those competitions. It was meant to picture and implement the five principles of Indonesia called, Pancasila. It consisted of: Belief in God, Humanitarianism, the Unity of Indonesia, Democracy, and Social Justice (rsis.edu.sg). I think Indonesia has a great principle but rarely implemented in our daily life. What makes it different from the other country is principle number four. The literal translation is "citizenship that is lead through wisdom in representative deliberation". This means that every decision should be discussed and approved by everyone. But, there are several reasons why it doesn't apply as we pictured such as lack of knowledge (not every citizen learns about this) or the higher-ups make it complicated when it can be simple. But, well, in reality, we couldn’t really live according to our vision or what we dream of. So, I guess the governments try to make guidelines that will be helpful to achieve the principles. But, unfortunately not every citizen understands and follows the guidelines.

Well, in this post I’m not going to discuss the principles Indonesia has. It is a quite sensitive topic and I’m not in the capacity to argue or makes critic of it. I wanted to reflect those principles in daily life among Indonesian, including me as well.

There is one quote from the first President of Indonesia, Soekarno that can be found every time around Independence Day or National Heroes Day: 

“My fight is easier because I fought to chase away colonizer. But, yours will be harder because you have to fight your own people”. 

What he said is so true because lately there are lots of debates among Indonesian. Well, actually debating is a good thing if the purpose is to empower each party. But, what is happening, in reality, was debate is to show-off. Show-off skills, information, and many more. Sometimes, I saw the debate is not even worth fighting for. I don’t know why, but as I got older, I became less care about nationalism, government, politics, whatever it is, apathetic.

During the pandemic, each country characteristic and abilities can be seen by how each country handle it. Well, there is no perfect country in this world, since there is no one is perfect. Since a country is ruled by somebody and that body is not perfect either, so there will be no perfect country. But at least, every country should strive to be better each day. What I feel right now is Indonesia’s progress seems to be stagnant. Is it because I live inside the country? You know that you know too much detail, you became too critical and hate the fact of it? Or it is true that we are going nowhere? I still couldn't find the answer yet. Maybe we have reached the comfort zone, where everything seems to be its’ place, while it isn’t. The way I see about Indonesia and you who are not living here might be different. Same as I see the other countries because I don't live there.

I look up the word “independence”, it is not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself (dictionary.com). Yes, we are not controlled by other countries or nations, but we are still influenced by others. I don’t see Indonesia as a really independent country. Well, every country in this world is connected and need support from each other. So, I don’t think the word independent suits well with the current situation, especially when the world right now faces the same problem. This is the influencing era, where most of our opinions and thoughts are influenced by others. No matter who and where you are.

As we shifting from era to era, we are actually building a relationship, connecting one to the other. Internet is the best example. Yes, every country is sovereign of its own, but also we still need each other. Being dependent is not always a bad thing, it’s just don’t make them took over you. We should be responsible for our own, but asking others to help and receive their help is not considered as being weak. It is proof that we know our capability and it makes us stronger and had a great attitude to be able to admit our weaknesses. It is the path that we should be taking to be a victorious country.

What I see and think about Indonesia is, we are not able to stand alone by ourselves but acted like we are already one. Compared to other countries, Indonesia is like a teenager going through the adolescent period. I find the number 75 as a big number, but still strong enough to try out new challenges and get better each day. So, Indonesia are you ready for new challenges to change this country to have a better quality of life for everyone? I repeat. Everyone. From the south to north, west to east, even to the one in rural areas.

Dear our (and also around the world) government parliaments, please don’t turn a blind eye to those people. They might not be able to pay the taxes (so you might not get benefits from them), but they have rights to have it. Instead of acting like you have achieved many things, please relearn our basic principles and restructure them accordingly. You won’t be able to fit everyone's cups of tea, but at least make it fair and reasonable.

The bottom line is every country has the right to stay for what they believed in, but it doesn’t mean have to shoo away other country acting as if they are the right one. Every country has its’ own pace and doesn't compare one to another. It’s okay to depend on another country, but do not let them take over the steer. As a citizen, it’s the right thing to voice your opinion, but always to think not only about yourself but also the others that are not like you. Remember all the principles by heart and implement them according to the guidelines. It’s not easy to be an obedient citizen since we already do the judging that the government going to spend our money for themselves. But have faith, since they will be responsible for their actions and God definitely has a plan for everything. Recently, I’m reading “Judges” from the Bible and it taught me that it’s not easy to lead a nation. God had provided all the 10 Commandments, but when the leader leaves them for a while, they started to do the bad things. So, what we need to do is to build trust with each other. Definitely, there will be thousands of people who opposed to your opinions or actions but let’s try to believe that everything will work out. Just be patient. Know your own capability (yes I’m talking to you Indonesia). It doesn’t mean that we are incompetent, but please know our strengths and weakness and then we can know how to act. And the most important thing is, think before act. This kind of bad habit is what makes Indonesia looks like a fool and get into trouble.

There are 4 more upcoming posts and I will see you there. Thank you for reading all the way to this part. This topic isn't my forte, but I tried my best and I would like to sharpen my critical skills that have been hibernating for a while now. Hope this post helps you to get the insights of celebrating National Days or Independence Days and be a good citizen. See ya!

Reference:

https://www.rsis.edu.sg/rsis-publication/rsis/pancasila-guidance-bill-tweaking-indonesias-ideology/#.X8-IGqeB06U

JCP FEATURES: FROM HOME

“School is not only about the knowledge”

It’s weird that I didn’t get to see the “Back to School” advertising a lot this year. The pandemic has totally made the world goes crazy. Summer holidays and school days are pretty much similar these days since students still stay at home for school. The excitement of getting back to school couldn’t be seen. No new school bag or pencil case, new books that should be covered (I think this is an Indonesian thing to cover your school books), the excitement to write your name in your new book, meeting with new friends (Indonesian school shuffle the class attendance list every new school year). Ah, how I miss going to school!

Well, I’m not a student anymore, but looking at my little cousins, the school was so boring and it broke my heart that they have to do online schooling. I’m truly sorry that they can’t experience the fun of seeing friends at school and doing school projects with them, waiting for a break-time when the class was so boring, the excitement when it is PE, music, and art class that we can express our inner feeling and be creative and many more.

Once again, the pandemic made me realize that I’m so grateful for the things I had before. The opportunity to go to school and met the friends I have now, the nervousness during exam week, and to grew my social skills. As I got older, I realized that school should not be taken for granted. It was a privilege that I’m able to go to school. Well, we got to learn about it after we experienced it. (That’s why on the job training was such an important thing, guys).

Please note that what I’m discussing here is based on the situation in Indonesia. After seeing my little cousins go for online-schooling, one thing pop out of my head, “is it effective?”.

Even before the pandemic strikes, not everyone can go to school. Our education system was not fully established for everyone. And now, the pandemic makes it worse. Not everyone got access to the internet and their parents are not all are tech-savvy. I just wish the suburb residents or even villagers are free from COVID-19 so they don’t need to have these online classes.

Our Education Minister wanted to change the school work model to online-schooling. But, Sir, have you prepared the infrastructure? How are you going to evaluate the study? Kids in school sometimes lack concentration at school, and I don’t think it’s going to be better at home either. There are no restrictions and not all parents can be strict with their kids, so I don’t think they will learn how society works. It also applied to adults that go to work from home. I hear a lot of my friends that don't enjoy WFH and get lazy and fatter during the time. Well, even an adult like me, I don’t think I’m confident in doing WFH. I’m totally going to mess-up the schedules and deadlines (even at work, I still suck with this). As you might notice, I couldn’t even post my blog or video regularly even though I’m unemployed before. There are just too many distractions. And now, they want the little kids to organize their own study at home? It’s a crazy idea, actually. My boss always said,” people nowadays keep losing their focus. (pointing to the smartphone) This is what makes you out of focus. You need to more focus on work”. What he said got hit me hard. It is true that those notifications on your phone, the urge to open your social media, and many other distractions that come from that small thing. Students in most of the school in Indonesia (up until grade 10) are not allowed to bring their phone to school. That’s why they could be trained to focus at school, but at home obviously, there’s no restriction like this, unless the parents keep the school rules applied at home. But, I believe that’s not the case since every parent are also busy finding the way to survive during this pandemic.

Infrastructure is one thing; the other thing is online-schooling is so monotone. I’m terribly sorry for them seeing their friends through the screen only, maybe. And as far as I know, most of them like to turn off the camera. I don’t know how they develop relationships and bonds through this online-school thing. It’s like you had an LDR but you didn’t have a deep connection and strong trust as your base. Eventually, you’ll feel you don’t belong to each other. There is no emotional development for the new generation of kids. Thinking of it makes my heart break into pieces. Since the program is new and sudden, there is not enough preparation for both the educators and students. That’s might be the root of the boring online school program. To fully enjoy online school programs, there’s should be more thorough planning & curriculum as well as preparing the media for the students, parents, and school.

Internet infrastructure is not for everyone yet in Indonesia. The house condition (read: economic status) to execute this online-school is very important. The online-school makes the privileged-house to learn and grow, but not applied for the unfortunate. This will cause an extreme economic gap and it might result in social jealousy.

What I learned from going to school is not only about the knowledge from books, but how I adapt to different types of personality and way of thinking. I’ve forgotten how to solve physics problems or what are types of molecules out there. It is some basic knowledge for an educated person, but it’s not the most important thing. How to be a well-mannered person is. And I think school is the first place where you will learn this skill.

Online-school is not bad, but we need a more thorough plan and how we are going to spread this for everyone no matter where they are and how is their economic status. The reason I write this feature is I just want to share my thoughts for the new generation of kids about what are they are going to go through and how cool and exciting school was. I don’t want to be a “kkonde” type of person, who likes to compare my old days to today, but just to let you know that every generation has its’ own good and bad side.

I’m terribly sorry for the late post, but I think this topic is still relevant for the “new normal”. It’s true and right that we need a new standard of normal since what’s we thought it’s normal, it’s not. Once again, the pandemic taught us to not take things for granted. Things don’t last forever, so let’s make it worth it. And also, on November 25, it is Teacher’s Day in Indonesia. I wanted to use this post that teacher is an important figure. A teacher is not only what we call our teacher at school, but a mentor or a friend is also a teacher. We can learn from everyone, not only an official teacher. Happy Teacher’s Day, you are a true hero and the best supporters out there!

If any parents happened to read this post, held your head high, because you are not alone. Take this as the chance how you are going to educate your kids in the way you’ve been dreaming of when you were in school. Don’t take it too hard, because eventually your kids will grow up and they can make their own decision and principles.

Whoever you are, thank you for reading this post. I’m not sure if this post helps, but I just want to do some sharing. This is what I think about the online-school system. How about you? Are you more on the modern or traditional type of school?

I’ll see you soon on my next post very soon.

I’ll work hard to finish all the pending posts before 2020 ended.

*crossed fingers*

JCP FEATURES: 486*

“Loving yourself is not a selfish act”

I found some similarities in the dramas that I watched in July, it’s about mental health or psychological illness. I wonder why they choose this topic as their main background. I came to the conclusion that modern people (people nowadays) tend to not knowing their self-worth. They become easier to feel lonely, too much stressed, always comparing themselves to a figure they saw on social media. According to Carl Jung, “ The man whom we can with justice call ‘modern’ is solitary”. So, it's been studied before that in the future time, people will feel get easier to feel lonely since they live in solitude when human nature is social beings.

Let’s take a look at the rhinos, they live in solitude and now they become an endangered species. Sometimes being alone is important, but keeping a balance between alone and socializing is the right answer.

The pandemic taught us that we cannot live alone. Yeah, at first you feel great just staying at home, less contact with others that you are tired of. But then after a few months of doing it, you feel bored and started to feel depressed. Well, even before the pandemic the number of depressed or mentally-ill persons was high. According to Our World in Data, in 2017, more than 10% of the world’s population has a mental disorder. Stress sometimes can do good for us, it can trigger us to be out of our comfort zone and to be more creative in problem-solving. But, a long-term one is not a good one. It might lead to depression and other disorders.

I think the root of the problem is we don’t know ourselves and how to love ourselves. Loving yourself is not a selfish act, it’s a good foundation of social action. When you know yourself, you can love others. That’s when the connection between individuals developed. The Bible said, “Love the others like you love yourself”. Love might sound simple, but it is one of the most complicated emotions. God gave a perfect example, but humans always fail to do it. He gave an example of unconditional love, but this hard-hearted human is unable to do the same. Because God knows about His creation is hard-hearted, He told us to love ourselves first, in order to love others. We are a special creation that God created Himself, that’s why He wants us to love each other like He loves us.

The million-seller music group, BTS have few songs that raise this issue. Their first album title is called “Love Yourself”. They have series of it for the next albums. There are 5 series of it. Once they are called to be a guest speaker at the UN General Assembly. Their leader, RM talked about his past and how he learned how to love himself and he wanted to share it through music. More detail about the BTS album can be read here. The writer made a great explanation about it.

From the lyrics of "Epiphany" by BTS
Credits: Pinterest

I’m not a part of BTS fandom, but I really like the side tracks of their album. They have many hidden good songs with great messages behind them. I totally can get it why they are so loved by many. They worth love. Some of their songs are totally relatable, especially by youngsters. The world is changing and sometimes we might get lost and got no one to ask, but through music and watching movies, I realize that there are some people that feel the same as you. You are not alone. Please know that you are not alone.

In my last post, I mentioned the drama ‘It’s Okay to be Not Okay’. The drama is also great to be an eye-opener about mental issues.

Credits: TvN, 2020 (via Google Images)

“ If you want to make people around you happy, you have to find your own happiness first. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Try to only think about your happiness when things are too stressful. It’s okay to do that.”

- from It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

The past can be hurtful and made you traumatized, but once you accept the fact that you are hurt, “that’s when the cure started.” The last sentence was a line from Shin Ha-Kyun in the drama “Soul Mechanic”. He is a psychiatrist and he himself also “sick”. He got traumatized by the death of his patient before. Then he met this similar patient as before and try to push away that patient because he doesn’t want to remember that accident anymore. But, at the same time, he realized that he has to accept that he is hurt, so the cure will take place. Once you know your diagnosis, you will get to know what to do to cure that illness, right? Same like physical illness, mental illness also the same. 

Captures of "Soul Mechanic", KBS, 2020
Source: https://dramasoverflowers.tumblr.com/post/617619071109840896/great-last-line-from-this-episode

I recommended “Soul Mechanic” if you want to get insights into human emotions. It will enlighten your heart and be grateful for what you have done this far. While watching this drama, I feel relieved that I didn’t have those kinds of hurtful past and grew up well. I came to learn to appreciate people more.

Another drama that took mental wellness is “Dinner Mate”. In this drama, they cure the illness through food. No wonder there is such a word as “comfort food”. Believe it or not, food is not just a thing that you must eat to survive physically, but also mentally. 

Captures from "Dinner Mate", MBC, 2020
Source: https://dramalifechoseme.tumblr.com/post/623695391074942976/gotta-flex-while-he-canalso-where-can-i-sign

I hope after reading this feature and watching those dramas, you know that you are wonderfully made. 

So, please love yourself. Don’t be harsh on yourself and learn to love yourself before loving others.

 If you have a hard time, share with others. Don’t keep it with yourself. Get it out. Remember, loving yourself is not selfish and you won’t be considered a narcissist. It is an appreciation of yourself.

Peace out!

If you or your family or friend that are feeling depressed and got no one to talk to, don’t be hesitant to get help. You can visit https://www.befrienders.org (WORLDWIDE) or local hotline (suicide prevention hotline).

*486 is a secret number to say "I Love You" in Korea. It was widely used during the beeper pager generation. It's a small electronic device that could only receive number only. This code is the same as 381 for the rest of the world.

Read More:

Found this good article from the BBC about managing your mental health during the pandemic. You can read it here.

20 inspirational quotes from the drama ‘It’s Okay Not to Be Okay”.

Why you should watch “Soul Mechanic”.

Resources:

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2018/03/5-qualities-of-the-truly-modern-person-via-carl-jung

https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health

JCP FEATURES: CARNATION

“Family is not always about blood, but it’s about the bond.”

May is a family month in South Korea. They celebrate “Children’s Day”, “Parent’s Day”, and “Teacher’s Day” in May. Despite that, the pandemic has changed the concept of family. It helped us to realize how important family is and what family really means. This feature might be more personal and full of emotions, but I hope you after reading this you can take care and think of your family more, no matter how hard it is.

Before I started the main point of this feature, I wanted to let you know that this is purely written by my own opinion with a help of my personal experience, watching Korean drama, and the Internet. First of all, I’ll start with my experience.

My nuclear family consisted of 4 (now there are only 3 of us). In Indonesia and Chinese culture, we also count the extended family too. Since my mom is the eldest daughter and the first child of seven, my family was obligated to take care of extended family stuff and she did it. Compared to my cousins, my brother and I are closer to my grandpa and late grandma. And here I am right now, living with my kid-like grandpa. (By the time I uploaded this blog, my grandpa has moved out from my house.)

As I’m writing this, I have an uncomfortable term with my extended family. Well, not openly. (It’s open now!) I prayed for them every day, even though I don’t really fond them as I used to be. As I grew older, I got to know “adult stuff” and it doesn’t always a good and happy one. As I’ve said before, my mom is the eldest daughter, so she used to take care of all of the family stuff and it feels like that my aunts and uncles put that responsibility to my dad and me (since my brother is out of the country). It’s not that I don’t like it, but they are should the one who took care of my old grandpa. They are his children, while I’m only a grandchild. After my mom passed away, I got to know how hard her life was and feel terrible for not being able to pay back her love fully. The saying “you never knew until you lost it” is really relatable to me as I never thought that my mom’s presence is this significant. She was the armor of our family and she’s been holding up by herself. The 3 of us didn’t realize it until we face this drama.

It sounded like a full of sentiments and anger, but it’s only the tip of my family drama. Since I don’t want to make it bigger, I just wanted to give you a picture that every family has its own drama. Whether you came from an individualistic or collectivist culture. Enough with the personal side story, I wanted to share some movies and Korean drama that helped me to understand the concept of a family.

The story of intertwined two families, Choi and Seo. The Seo’s lost one of their twin daughters due to some illness and one day on their way back, they found a girl and take that girl home. They raised the girl for 25 years and treated her as their own daughter. No one in the family knows about it other than Mr. and Mrs. Seo. It turns out that the girl Seo found is the lost daughter of the Choi family. The drama shows how a family is not always about blood. Even when both families know the truth, Choi’s long lost daughter didn’t feel like at home. Maybe it's like any other Korean family drama, but I surely enjoy every episode of the drama. Sick father, harsh youngster life, and sparks of romance are included in this drama. It’s a very relatable drama that will make your eyes puff, but you will find your heart lighten.

I first watched this movie on the airplane and I was so terribly regretted to watch in-flight. I cried my heart out because this movie is very touching. It’s about two brothers that separated for years before because the bigger brother was in jail. When he was out of jail, he found out that his brother has lost his sight. One day, he found out that he has cancer. He tried to make us of his brother to be a Paralympic sportsman, so he can secure his future. A lot of mishaps might happen to you and your family, but eventually, we need each other. We had to have someone we can rely on.

This drama succeeds to make me cry every week. I cannot explain with words how this drama gave me console. Watching this drama is like having a tap on my back. Everyone has their own way to express their feeling of loose someone. Some might feel depressed, feel lonely, or try their best to move on. But one thing for sure, we will miss the person we lost. The drama portrays the love of a mother that has to leave her daughter and husband suddenly due to an accident. For 5 years, she was a ghost that always lingers around her daughter. One day, she was given a chance to be a real human for 49 days. The drama reveals how precious is your life and the person you love means.

This is the most recent drama in which you can watch it on Netflix. The drama included a fairytale that you might have heard before, so it’s pretty easy to follow. It might be a gothic drama, but actually, most of the fairytales were used to be cruel and have a dark storyline. It’s Okay to Not Be Okay or Psycho but Okay (literal translation) is about two brothers and a girl that had ill-fated relationships that turns out they cure each other wounds. The highlight of this drama is the bigger brother has a mental disability and had a phobia of butterflies. The younger brother is exhausted and really wants his brother to overcome his phobia. Over time, the younger brother met a psychopath fairytale writer, which turns out that they were met once when they were a kid. Actually, the writer had a lot of wounds from her childhood and she didn’t want to open herself up and ended up becoming a selfish human being. The drama tells us that everyone may have their own past stories that might not good, but there will be someone that will help you to overcome it. If you feel lonely, say that you are lonely. Again, this tells you that a family is not always a blood-related. 

“If we take a family photo, we are a family” – Moon Sangtae

Disney Pixar always succeed to make me cry over an animation movie. Actually, the storyline was pretty simple, it’s about a curious Mexican young kid that ended up to the Land of the Dead. He wanted to prove that his love for music came down from someone in his family. In that Land of the Dead, he wanted to meet his idol and asked for help to convince his family that his music is good. He ended up unravel his family history. The movie includes Mexican culture that is identic with togetherness. Familia, they don’t take this word easily. “Mexican generally maintain strong links with the members of their extended family” (britannica.com). Every scene in this animation gave a clear example of a Mexican culture that I can relate pretty much. I was raised by my grandma and had a close relationship with her compared to my other cousins. This post pretty much summarizes what this movie all about. My favorite part? “Remember me.” Once you are bonded as a family, you shouldn’t forget them and you are always going to be that part of that family. Read more about the life quotes from Coco here.

This animation clearly shows that a family isn’t always about humans. You can build your own family with your pets or even your favorite toys. Even though it might be an extreme one, but the important thing is, anyone or anything can be your family. I cried my eyes out loud the most when I watched Toy Story 3. This is might a bit of a spoiler (if you haven’t watched it, please watch the movie right now), but I really cried after watching the scene where Andy says, “But the thing that makes Woody special, is he’ll never give up on you… ever. He’ll be there with you, no matter what happens.” Even when I’m writing this, my eyes were a bit teary. What Andy said really hit me hard. The quotes made me realize that I should be a person that will never leave someone out, especially a family. Andy gave his toys a new home, a new family that might take care of them better as Andy needs to carry on his life. But it doesn’t mean Andy and his toys are not a family anymore. Again, once you are a part of a family, you’ll always be one. Maybe not physically, but it will always stay in your heart.

I probably can say that this is the most sorrowful Korean movie that I've ever watch. Even though this is an old movie, but the storyline is still relatable to this day. The movie is about a mentally handicapped, single father that was sent to prison because of falsely accused. The inmates in cell number 7 helped that mentally handicapped inmate that was not able to be separated from his young daughter. No matter who you are, if you are sincere, there will be someone that will help you. Family is like that. You can see clearly that prison is not always a bad, sorrowful place. It’s a place where hopes started. The mentally handicapped inmates show to his inmates that there is a way and miracle can happen at anytime. The inmates create bonds among them and make them a family. The movie reminds you that family plays an important role in your life, no matter how hard the situation is. Even in very hard situations, you can find a new family. I really recommended you watch this movie, if you haven’t.

Again, the movie has a connection with a mentally handicapped character. I didn’t mean to choose similar characters and storyline, but every movie or drama have their distinctive concept about family. “Keys to the Heart,” tells about a long lost eldest son that finally reunited with his mother and finally meet his half-brother with down syndrome. Not enough with the harsh past, the eldest son lost his career as a boxer and had to take care of his brother since his mother has a chronic illness. I find this movie is very soothing, but also heartbreaking. I believe sometimes, people might have some ridiculous thoughts such as, why I was placed in this family? But I think it’s a very humane thought. Just, don’t dwell on it too long and find a way to reconcile with your family. The movie portrays how a situation could force you to stay with your family. Because they are the only treasure you have.

Well, the list might go on, but these movies and dramas pretty much cover-up the concept of family, which family is not always about blood (and talking about family will touch your inner heart and will make you cry A LOT). Friends or pets are the ones that we can choose as our family members. Bonds made us into a family. Talking about it, I am so glad that I have a little community that has the best bond. We respect and treat each other more than a friend or colleague, but a family. I think this community is one of the greatest gifts that God gave me. I’m thankful for them. Even now the members keep on growing. One of our members has got married and her husband is our new family member. Again, a family is not only about blood, it was beyond that.

As you can see on the list of recommendations, you might notice that most of them are Korean movies and dramas. It’s not because I like to watch Korean movies or dramas, but it’s because they portray the concept of a family the best. Korean culture stands for collectivism instead of individualism. Well, sometimes it can be burdensome since it also occurs at work too. As you might notice, in some Korean dramas or movies, they portrayed get-together-dinner a lot, which you cannot see in Western movies. This short scene shows the idea of collectivism, which “emphasizes the needs and goals of the group as a whole over the needs and desire of each individual” (verywellmind.com). One of the traits of collectivism is families and communities have the central role. But, since the world changes every second, this culture seems to be fading away. The new generation started to be more individualistic, which led to the crash between the older and new generations. I guess because of that kind of irony; they tend to bring up those kinds of storylines.

In Korea, there are two words for a family. One is ‘Gajok’ and the other one is ‘Sik-ku’. The difference can be seen if we took each character and match it to the Chinese characters (many Korean words rooted from Chinese characters). The broad meaning of ‘Gajok’ is blood-related people in the same roof (house). While ‘Sik-ku’ means people that eat together. Koreans prefer to use ‘Sik-ku’ more than ‘Gajok’ because we spent quite some time at the dining table (normally, we eat 3 times a day) and it occurs every day. So, how to get to know each other better is by eating together. While eating, you can talk and get to know each other. Whether you realize it or not, when we are compatible and feel comfortable with another person, we create bonds, which eventually we think them as part of our family member. Sometimes, even though you are blood-related, that doesn’t mean you know each other well. That’s why the word ‘Sik-ku’ is more preferable because it means friendlier than ‘Gajok’.

Well, we cannot choose our parents and which blood-line we have, but we can build our own family. People you love, people who know to treat you right. The rule of thumb is to have a happy life is to treat your precious relationships right. Well, I’m not in the position to say this since I had a bad term with my extended family now, but it taught me a lot and you might also learn something from me. No matter what, they are part of my family, so I’ll have to open my heart first. I tend to clear my mind and don't let the negativity hits me.

I accept the fact that there are many types of personalities in this world and it’s applied to your family members.

“We may have the difference, but nothing’s more important than family”

 – Miguel.

Thank you, kiddo for saying that out loud. I’ll try my best to keep this on my mind. Like other relationships, it works only if both sides open their heart and making efforts of the relationship.

I’m sorry for the delay since I’m working nowadays. It drains my energy to the fullest and got things to sort out too. Didn’t plan that these features will be this long, but I hope this helped you. I’ll see you soon in my other post!