JCP FEATURES: 486*

“Loving yourself is not a selfish act”

I found some similarities in the dramas that I watched in July, it’s about mental health or psychological illness. I wonder why they choose this topic as their main background. I came to the conclusion that modern people (people nowadays) tend to not knowing their self-worth. They become easier to feel lonely, too much stressed, always comparing themselves to a figure they saw on social media. According to Carl Jung, “ The man whom we can with justice call ‘modern’ is solitary”. So, it's been studied before that in the future time, people will feel get easier to feel lonely since they live in solitude when human nature is social beings.

Let’s take a look at the rhinos, they live in solitude and now they become an endangered species. Sometimes being alone is important, but keeping a balance between alone and socializing is the right answer.

The pandemic taught us that we cannot live alone. Yeah, at first you feel great just staying at home, less contact with others that you are tired of. But then after a few months of doing it, you feel bored and started to feel depressed. Well, even before the pandemic the number of depressed or mentally-ill persons was high. According to Our World in Data, in 2017, more than 10% of the world’s population has a mental disorder. Stress sometimes can do good for us, it can trigger us to be out of our comfort zone and to be more creative in problem-solving. But, a long-term one is not a good one. It might lead to depression and other disorders.

I think the root of the problem is we don’t know ourselves and how to love ourselves. Loving yourself is not a selfish act, it’s a good foundation of social action. When you know yourself, you can love others. That’s when the connection between individuals developed. The Bible said, “Love the others like you love yourself”. Love might sound simple, but it is one of the most complicated emotions. God gave a perfect example, but humans always fail to do it. He gave an example of unconditional love, but this hard-hearted human is unable to do the same. Because God knows about His creation is hard-hearted, He told us to love ourselves first, in order to love others. We are a special creation that God created Himself, that’s why He wants us to love each other like He loves us.

The million-seller music group, BTS have few songs that raise this issue. Their first album title is called “Love Yourself”. They have series of it for the next albums. There are 5 series of it. Once they are called to be a guest speaker at the UN General Assembly. Their leader, RM talked about his past and how he learned how to love himself and he wanted to share it through music. More detail about the BTS album can be read here. The writer made a great explanation about it.

From the lyrics of "Epiphany" by BTS
Credits: Pinterest

I’m not a part of BTS fandom, but I really like the side tracks of their album. They have many hidden good songs with great messages behind them. I totally can get it why they are so loved by many. They worth love. Some of their songs are totally relatable, especially by youngsters. The world is changing and sometimes we might get lost and got no one to ask, but through music and watching movies, I realize that there are some people that feel the same as you. You are not alone. Please know that you are not alone.

In my last post, I mentioned the drama ‘It’s Okay to be Not Okay’. The drama is also great to be an eye-opener about mental issues.

Credits: TvN, 2020 (via Google Images)

“ If you want to make people around you happy, you have to find your own happiness first. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Try to only think about your happiness when things are too stressful. It’s okay to do that.”

- from It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

The past can be hurtful and made you traumatized, but once you accept the fact that you are hurt, “that’s when the cure started.” The last sentence was a line from Shin Ha-Kyun in the drama “Soul Mechanic”. He is a psychiatrist and he himself also “sick”. He got traumatized by the death of his patient before. Then he met this similar patient as before and try to push away that patient because he doesn’t want to remember that accident anymore. But, at the same time, he realized that he has to accept that he is hurt, so the cure will take place. Once you know your diagnosis, you will get to know what to do to cure that illness, right? Same like physical illness, mental illness also the same. 

Captures of "Soul Mechanic", KBS, 2020
Source: https://dramasoverflowers.tumblr.com/post/617619071109840896/great-last-line-from-this-episode

I recommended “Soul Mechanic” if you want to get insights into human emotions. It will enlighten your heart and be grateful for what you have done this far. While watching this drama, I feel relieved that I didn’t have those kinds of hurtful past and grew up well. I came to learn to appreciate people more.

Another drama that took mental wellness is “Dinner Mate”. In this drama, they cure the illness through food. No wonder there is such a word as “comfort food”. Believe it or not, food is not just a thing that you must eat to survive physically, but also mentally. 

Captures from "Dinner Mate", MBC, 2020
Source: https://dramalifechoseme.tumblr.com/post/623695391074942976/gotta-flex-while-he-canalso-where-can-i-sign

I hope after reading this feature and watching those dramas, you know that you are wonderfully made. 

So, please love yourself. Don’t be harsh on yourself and learn to love yourself before loving others.

 If you have a hard time, share with others. Don’t keep it with yourself. Get it out. Remember, loving yourself is not selfish and you won’t be considered a narcissist. It is an appreciation of yourself.

Peace out!

If you or your family or friend that are feeling depressed and got no one to talk to, don’t be hesitant to get help. You can visit https://www.befrienders.org (WORLDWIDE) or local hotline (suicide prevention hotline).

*486 is a secret number to say "I Love You" in Korea. It was widely used during the beeper pager generation. It's a small electronic device that could only receive number only. This code is the same as 381 for the rest of the world.

Read More:

Found this good article from the BBC about managing your mental health during the pandemic. You can read it here.

20 inspirational quotes from the drama ‘It’s Okay Not to Be Okay”.

Why you should watch “Soul Mechanic”.

Resources:

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2018/03/5-qualities-of-the-truly-modern-person-via-carl-jung

https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health